Helpful things as of lately

I've been really struggling to get back into the groove lately since we only have 3 weeks before christmas break. The hard thing about that though is school hasn't let up. At. All. They've pretty much just thrown us back into the middle of it all. So I've been using this website called Tomato Timer. It sets timers for 25 minutes, an alarm goes off on your computer when your time is up, which is really nice because then I don't have to bring my phone with me when I'm studying, and there isn't a loud alarm going off in the library. After each 25 minute cycle it gives you the option of a 5 or 10 minute break. Using the timer has helped a lot when studying, and also helps me to effectively record how much I've been studying for the day.

I have a hard time studying for more than a few hours at a time, so something else that has been helpful to me is trying to take actual study breaks. That makes me so happy we live in Arizona because it means I can get outside! For lunch today, Bryce and I took our new tortoise, Terry, outside for some sun. Then I usually go for a run for about half an hour everyday as well, and even if I don't run the whole time, having some fresh air really helps to clear my mind before I have to get going with school.

Anyway, schools only a week in but I already feel like I'm dying. It's a little bit overwhelming sometimes going to school everyday knowing I'm not going to know so many things, I'll probably be really terrible at some things, and I am going to have to work really hard to get to understand them. But when I realize I have learned it is always kind of crazy.

Oh, and by the way. I'm studying outside in a shirtsleeve shirt right now. So Arizona was a good decision.

On Being a Morning Person

Truth: Sometimes, I'm an absolute bear in the mornings. I literally feel like sometimes I wake up growling. I didn't know it was a problem until we got married but it's a real thing! Maybe it's because I've never really lived with a morning person, but Bryce can get up right with his alarm and get so many things done, whereas it is so hard for me to get out of bed sometimes, even if I'm not really that tired!

I really want to work harder to utilize my mornings and make them a more useful period of time for myself. I read somewhere that you have to practice getting up right when your alarm goes off, almost like on autopilot. I think when I wake up in the mornings I forget all the things I had planned to do when I went to bed and find reasons I don't have to get up yet, which is a BAD thing!

I'm trying to make goals to wake up first thing when my alarm goes off. I feel like if I can do that one thing then I will feel much more ready to do other hard things throughout the day. If I always accomplish the first thing on my to do list, I feel like that would be a pretty motivating start.

For the most part I feel lost and frustrated on this topic though, so any recommendations, I'll take them!

New Recipes

I don't know if you're like me, but I am much more excited to make dinner when I'm making something to be excited about. These past few weeks we have been trying a lot of new recipes, and it has been a great break in our day and way to spend time together. Here's a list of the ones we liked.

One Pan Ranch Chicken and Veggies

I don't think I ever really appreciated chicken thighs until making this recipe. And it was SO easy. I had to study so I sent Bryce home to make it, and he had no problems at all. The only hard part was chopping up the vegetables he said. Couple modifications we made: line the pan with foil before because it makes clean up a LOT easier. We also steamed the potatoes in the microwave a big first before cooking them. They best part about this was we could really just dump all the vegetables we had on the pan with it for an easy lunch and dinner. 

Spinach and White Bean Soup

I get kind of sick of having tomato based soups so often, but I don't like adding so much cheese or cream to them either, so this soup was a nice alternative. We just used regular sausage similar that you can grill like hamburger and doubled the vegetables (which is pretty normal for us). It was so warm and cozy tasting, and seeing as Bryce had just gotten braces on it kept him fed for a few days. 

Zucchini Meatballs

We've made these a few times actually. And the best part is you can really throw whatever you want in them. We double the veggies and add carrots when we make these, and use either ground turkey or ground beff. This time we also tried Prego's Vodka sauce and it was delicious! I know the recipe calls for fresh basil but usually we use dried and it turns out great. 

Spicy Cauliflower Soup

We're going to probably make this one this week. I'll probably substitute the coconut milk in this recipe for half and half or something but I love cauliflower soup because it tastes so warm and creamy without adding a lot of dairy products

More Common Occurances

Things that have changed:

- Any plans we make for any weekend are usually changed by the time that weekend comes because I'm too scared to do anything taking up for than 1.5 hours in fear of hurting my grades. It's a real thing. I don't think we've followed through on any "all day" type plans in months

- Self diagnosing myself with whatever disease we're discussing is a real thing. There was a moment this week where I had the 100% thought of "what if I have HIV?!", but I've also had Restless leg syndrome, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes, and ADHD (the more common concern of mine) in the past few weeks.

- I'm going to MEXICO! I'm so excited! We will be going on a mission trip to Chihuahua to help people down there to have eye exams and giving out glasses. I am so excited but also sad because I have never been away from Bryce for that long. But we figure, it's a once in a lifetime experience that I can't pass up! So I'm going! Ahh!

- Date night Thursday's are a real thing. We get so burned out by Thursday that Bryce usually watches a movie for a pit while I casually work on my Methods lab and we cuddle. Thursday's are the best.

- I've learned that it's not as hard to take a part of your life you don't like, throw it out and move on as most people make it seem. A few weeks ago Bryce and I were talking about a friend who I just never was happy with whenever I talked to them, so I deleted that person from my phone and never looked back. And I am SO MUCH happier without that friendship. It was amazing to me, I feel like I get caught thinking I'm stuck with some of the things or situations that bother me, but I really do have the power to act and make changes, make my life happier. I want to remember that in the future.

- This whole "inactivity" thing is really getting to me. I feel so tired and don't want to leave my house to workout once I get home, and the stress and sitting in class all day but not walking very far make me just feel blah so if anyone has any suggestions for that I'm all ears.

Also, we never take pictures because we never have any reason to. People ask me all the time "How's school?" and the problem is, there isn't really an answer to that. So please, if you see me or talk to me, ask something else! Ask me if I had a good day or how happy I am that day or what I'm stressed about because chances are I have something to say, but the mention of the word "school" just makes my brain go numb.

Sometimes

Sometimes, I find Bryce saying nicer than the average person things about Taylor Swift and I think he's kidding, and then I just realize I married the most perfect man alive.

Today

How to be successful in grad school (or at least not fail)

Things I have learned this week:

have protein for breakfast

dress in layers to ensure better focus, being stuck in a too hot class room is your worst enemy

say no to more social activities because you won't know how bad a weekend is until Tuesday

take breaks

eat good meals, not crap

eat more meals while watching TV, because lets face it, you're braindead

don't celebrate your birthday unless you want to pay for it later

exersize once a week at least

go on regular dates to the living room couch

read your scriptures daily

not all free lunches are created the same- if it's pizza you should probably pass

realize that even if you think it's different this time, pizza will always give you a headache.

find out what the free lunch is before you skip out, for example if it is chipotle

wake up in between sleep cycles and not at the alarm

spend time together that isn't studying

don't get food poisoning

don't get a cold

realize that no matter what something will get in the way of your perfectly planned, stress free week.

You're My One

Bryce and I were talking yesterday about our relationship, and how happy we are to get to go to school together. He said something that really stuck with me. When discussing his opinion on Women reaching their dreams, we were talking about his stance as a feminist. To us, feminism isn't about making men and women the same, it's about empowering women, and allowing them to do whatever they set their minds to. Trusting them with those most important works with which they alone can make a difference. It's about trusting women to be good and do good, not limiting their impact on the work but instead enhancing and multiplying their goodness. We're a team, and our goal is for both of us to soar.

Bryce has a unique perspective from having 6 sisters, and a mother who raised him. He's been around women his whole life. And as such, he's my biggest fan. He knows I have a lot to give. He said his ultimate goal in life is to be sure that I am satisfied, to be sure I follow my dreams and have what I need, because I'm "his one". His one shot, chance, person, all of the above. His one to make soar. Just hearing that made my heart melt.

I love that idea of being his one. He's my biggest cheerleader; he cheers for me and motivates me, listens when things are hard, and helps me to find solutions when problems arise. With him, I can breathe fire. I'm his one who,  when supported by him can affect generations for good. I'm grateful for a husband who sees the greatness in me and constantly works to build me up and make me strong, who allows me to be good for more than just for him or our family but for the world around me. With him, my touch is limitless. He's my one too.

Week 1: The Scrub Life

Everyone has been telling me how miserable our lives in school were going to be when school started. But there isn't a real great way to know what to expect until school actually starts. So by the time the first day of school rolls around, I was just ready to go.

The first day of school wasn't so bad. If anything it was anticlimactic. We have a 5 hour long Geometric Optics class on Mondays which didn't prove to be too difficult. But Tuesday was a big day because that was the start of what we call "BASIG" or basic sciences. We talk all of those classes with the Dental students, and many of the professors are similar to the professors and lectures Bryce has in his basic science classes. Although, don't let the name fool you, because I think I learned as much as I learned or was supposed to learn in the last 4 years during those 12 hours of lecture this week

The sheer volume of information is what is hard about school. I have started to wonder if I have an attention deficient disorder (not entirely seriously) because it was so hard to focus. I don't know if it was just because of the content going so fast or because I'm coming back from summer, but the biggest struggle so far is staying focused throughout hours and hours of lecture. I have anywhere from 4-9 hours of lecture in a given day, and al to of staring and listening. I feel like if I lose track of my thought for even a second, I'm already behind. Which is stressful and can be frustrating when the room is super warm or you've just had lunch (which is everyday). This week, the lecture halls were SO warm! It was a fight to stay awake in class just for that reason. One day I even popped an Excedrine migraine just because I needed the caffeine to keep me awake! So I guess you can say I've used more caffeine than I ever did in undergrad already!

This is me, going to yoga on campus for the first time. Bryce was very excited about it and had to document!

As far as my class, there are 54 of us. There are about 20 girls in my class, about 3 of us are married. There are 12 people who are LDS, 3 of us went to BYU and I'm the only girl :) Lucky me! But it's nice having peers who I can relate to quickly, and I've been making an effort to make new friends and sit by someone new everyday. By the time they day is over, it is usually 4-5pm and I'm tired of sitting and staring a a screen. So exercise has been making a huge difference! The first day I felt so overwhelmed, and  I went to the gym only to find half the people there were in my class! So there really is no escape to somewhere comfortable I've found. But I'm getting more comfortable so that's good!

For classes were required to dress business clothes, unless we choose to wear scrubs, which are a lovely Galaxy Blue color! Scrubs are my new favorite, because my childhood dream of having a school uniform has finally come true. They are also a whole lot more comfortable to wear in this heat.

Another time Bryce was just so excited about my outfit he had to document. Love that guy!

I have my first test on Tuesday, I have then every Tuesday from 7-9am on the 12 BASIG lectures from the week before. I'm excited because I feel like I've studied pretty hard but also nervous because I'm not known for having amazing test taking abilities no matter how well I know the information. So I'm hoping that's changed! 

Working with Bryce this week has been a huge blessing. If anything,  I see him more often now that we're both in school because we can study together most nights and mornings we wake up at 6:30 and study as well. it's been a little tricky scheduling dinners and plans for school activities but we try to be there for each other's events like barbecues or school parties. He's really my teammate and the best sidekick I could ask for on this adventure!

Sidenote: We also spoke in church today! It was my first time speaking in church with Bryce much less hearing him speak. He got up and some of the sweetest things about me, I almost cried! Also, we've been called to the nursery. At first I was so bummed and sad, but now we are actually loving it! We have the youngest kids and they are just too sweet. Watching Bryce gives me all the heart eyes

Why Science Explains Everything

Why does science explain everything? It seems as though everyday there is a new study in the news or online telling us how to be smart or healthy or beautiful. The scientific method was designed to create controlled and tightly regulated experiments that most importantly are reproducible. Meaning if a study is done and then replicated anywhere at anytime, the same results will be recorded. Every. Single. Time. When it comes to science, most of what we know about the world has been contrived from accurate use of the scientific method replicated over and over again until we can say that we know without a doubt that the results are correct and statistically significant.

While studying microbiology at BYU, something I thought a lot about is most obviously how it works. I've been through hours and hours of lectures studying what proteins do what, what chemicals go where, and how it all works together, trying to remember it all as I went. If there is something I have spent time on, it's science.

One argument is that science and divinity are separate. That if we can find an answer for everything (which has been done in many fields, or so we think) then that will explain the need, or rather the lack of a need to believe in a divine power. If evolution is real and true and most importantly, logical, then God could not have created this world as so the scriptures say because evolution couldn't have happened in just 7 days. And I think that argument could go either way for anyone, meaning an individual's belief on the subject of science is entirely their own, some believe and some don't. If there is anything I have found, it is that those who take the time to understand science and dig into the methods are those who then believe the results. There is a reason why doctors prescribe exercise, dentists recommend flossing (besides the fact that 83% of wealthy people floss everyday), and the IT department recommends backing up your laptop to an external drive, and why I tell my family to replace their plastic cutting boards with glass ones. It's because these practices work. Not just once, but consistently.

I truly do believe that I will eventually be able to know everything. All of it. Where babies come from, how personalities are made, why we have obesity and diabetes, what the real meaning of life is, and why God made women have to go through periods and be feeling sick for nearly half their life (but seriously). I really do think there is a way to understand these things by spending time in a laboratory. I think acquiring this knowledge over a lifetime can do one of two things:

1. It can make someone people lose their responsibility towards a higher power, feel as though because "I understand these things I previously thought only God understood, I am no longer responsible to do what I thought he was telling me to do, because now I know, and maybe God doesn't exist if I truly can understand what others thought only he could".

2. It can also cause the opposite effect, and responsibility to our God can increase. "Because I now see what God sees, I must try to act as he does. I must be a more loving and humble servant because I have been blessed and I DO understand God's nature. Because I've learned so much from God, I want to continue to follow him and learn more".

But I do not believe the options are this extreme. I think the beauty of the gospel comes from a God who is logical. I can imagine it would be difficult to go through school always being told we will never get to be doctors, no matter how much we learn or understand, no matter if we one day know as much as our teachers know, it just wasn't possible to ever graduate. It would be hard to believe in that God.

From learning and growing in knowledge from those who are around us and teach us doesn't give most of us the idea to say "Okay, I'm done, I know all there is left to know so I'm going to go be my own doctor now". Yes, we do know the answers to most questions, and we do have a scientific way of explaining many of God's miracles if we really do try. But I do not believe that makes God any less of a God for using science that he created and understands to create a perfect world around us. Just because the world operates on a perfect science doesn't disprove God, but instead shows the depth and breadth of his knowledge. Studying science has brought me closer to God because by seeing what he sees and creating as creates, I am able to learn and grow into a person who sees and creates in the way that he does. I've climbed up to where he can see, and I can stop there or keep climbing, it's my choice.

I believe in a God who is not just all powerful, but also who is the master chemist. He understands proteins more than I ever will, can understand light and quantum theory, and psychology on a level I only dream of understanding. There is a misconception that all God wants is our time and love and fun and also everything we have. But I think God also wants us to know what he knows, not just spiritually but physically as well. The more I've studied science the more I've felt close to God because I have been becoming like him. I've learned to think as he does and view the world differently, through heavenly eyes that see the perfection in the world around me. Most scientists will tell you they love science because of the possibility or because there is always an answer to discover. Ironically, those are the things I love most about God as well. I see his personality when I study him under the microscope or in the stars or through the lens.

This topic is something I've thought about a lot. And like other scientists it would be nice if you'd take my word for it, but luckily you don't have to. Scientific method works here too. If you try to understand God, with real intent to know and see what he sees, I know you will find him. The choice to try and understand a problem or question is the first step in the scientific method, yet only through a period of controlled trial and error can anyone know for sure. By praying to know, looking for him all around you, and even more importantly having an unbiased desire to find truth, I know that God will show himself to you. I know this because he has done it for me every single time I have reached out, called out, or cried out for him. There is no soul he can not reach or mind he cannot understand. He is there waiting, with answers for anyone who seeks to find him.

So I guess what I'm saying begs the ultimate question , does science really explain everything? And I guess thats for you to find out yourself.

Day 369

Bryce and I have now been married for a year and so far, so great (Which I think also signifies the end of the wedding photo use in blog posts....meaning I might actually have to start taking real pictures again...). I think the one aspect of our relationship I can attribute our happiness in marriage to so far would be our goals. Having an all inclusive vision for our marriage and life together has been the driving force that brings us closer together every day.



When Bryce and I met, we were both pursuing graduate degrees in the healthcare system. As it become more evident that we were going to have a future together, we started planning accordingly, more ultimately planning our professional and personal lives together. Luckily, our plans fit pretty well together but there were some stressful parts too. (Figuring out applications to completely different programs and much less getting in was a huge feat to say the least).



To this point in our marriage, I would say that the single factor making our relationship successful has been those goals we made together early on that have brought us together. While we're different from some couples I know with both of us pursuing doctoral degrees, we have had that one goal to bring us together when times are hard or when we don't know what to do. Bryce is the greatest teammate I could have ever asked for, and I really do feel like were working together every day to lift each other up and push us towards our future.

Before I got married, people would always say "Marriage is hard. It's wonderful, but it's hard. And you'll never understand it until you're married". Which can be kind of frustrating to a single/dating/newly engaged person! And also a bit unbelievable.

After a year I think I would probably alter that sentiment a little and say marriage isn't hard, it's just different. Because luckily when you're married, every hard thing you go through, your best friend is right beside you. However, the difference is when you go through something hard, your spouse experiences that trial and heartache too. So in a way, you get to have twice the trials, but you also have twice the amount of work put into each one.

That being said, if there was one word to describe my husband, it would be that he is my teammate. His goals have become to help me accomplish mine and mine have become to help him accomplish his. While still operating as separate people with out own thoughts, feelings, and desires, the act of marriage itself has knit those individual parts of who we are, our souls, together. Our goals, as a couple and as individuals, have always been when brings us together. They're the foundation for our live together; they make it so Bryce can look at me when I'm not being my best self and say "You're not being the person I know you want to be right now", and I can do the same for him. As we come up on our first anniversary, I'm grateful that I was able to find and marry someone who is my equal in every way (both in height and in aspirations!) but on most days, probably even a little better ;)

At this point in our marriage, we are kind of just killing time before we move and have to start the craziness that will be the next four years. We are both still working at the hospital, Bryce in the ermegency room and myself in same day surgery. We like it, but what we like most is coming home at 5 everyday and being able to do whatever we want without homework. We love grilling, going for walks, and watching Friends. We don't have air conditioning so that has been a little rough but we got passes to the Provo Rec Center and have been trying all kinds of classes, yoga, pretty much everything. It's been a blast. 

We move into our new apartment in Glendale a month from today. And for the most part I would say we are really excited! It's going to be fun setting up camp somewhere new, and while we have no idea what to expect we are ready for the challenge! Everyone just keeps telling us how hard it is going to be and more importantly how hot it is going to be the day we move in (try 110 degrees). But we're excited! I think we had the perfect first year of learning together and we are ready for whatever is going to come next! 

Split Image

I've been thinking about the way people perceive each other a lot more since graduating from college. Before social media was a welcome distraction from studying, but since I've started feeling behind.
Even more, realizing that most of our friends who are graduating from college are starting jobs, buying houses and furniture, and having babies. And here I am wondering when any of those things will ever happen for us because all I see is an endless road of school in front of us. I can't see myself ever ready to have kids, perfectly furnish a house, or travel all over the world like I see on social media. I wonder how they do it.

Most of our friends and family look at our life and assume we have everything together,  but I've been left feeling so much the opposite lately, wondering where we were going to live, if we'd be able to find furniture, how all of the loans are going to work out, when we'd even be moving.  Right now, there are so many questions people keep asking that I don't know the answer to and it is anxiety inducing.

Part of me feels like the post-grad anxieties that we happily skipped out on when we were accepted to medical school are starting to catch up with us. The problem isn't that we don't have a plan, because we do. I love our plan and nothing feels more right then the plan we've set out to pursue together. But something I'm struggling with is our plan being so different from anyone else's that I know. We're trying to live lives that most people don't have, and it comes with fear and anxiety of the unknown. There are lots of people that tell us how rich we will be one day, how awesome its going to be, and how easy it will be to pay off our student loans (given, most of these people have no idea what loan interest rates are nowadays much less what the salary projections are).

As I've been spending the last month or so on the internet trying to figure out our housing. I've been debating about size and cost and how it looks, feeling like we had to have the perfect apartment and feeling like we had to get a two bedroom like so many other friends we have, that it had to be nice. But none of it felt right. All I was worrying about had to do with what other people were saying they needed or deserved, or how nice someone else's was in pictures. So instead we found an apartment on campus, which is much less glamorous but so much more convenient, and so perfect for us. It might have bright blue carpet but we will find a way to manage and just get a rug. but saving and getting something that met the needs that mattered to US as opposed to what I thought they were based on everyone else's life was really our secret little corner of happiness. (Not to mention rent is half price over the summer so....)

So, the answers (most) questions everyone keeps asking us is we don't know. But we have hope that all these things are going to work out because we feel that strongly about the importance of following this path. And eventually one day, I feel better knowing that someone can look at us and find hope knowing because we were able to do it, they can too.

And in the meantime I think I'm just going to take some advice from myself and remember that our life is exactly that: ours. And it doesn't matter how much people think we have or think we should have, be that time, money, children or education. Because what's ours is ours and what is good for us is good enough.

Things I Wish I Knew as a Freshman

This picture is from my very first day at BYU. Coming up on my last 48 hours before I am done with college, I'd like to think there are some important things I've learned. Regardless of biology or my classes, there were some good life lessons as well. I'm a little bit less of a kid and a little bit more of a grown-up, or so they tell me. And while it is a little bit weird, I am more than happy to be done with my undergraduate degree. The lessons I've learned here will follow me through the rest of my life, and surprisingly most of those lessons were never covered on a class syllabus. So, here you go.

1. Grades do not equal worth.

I thought I had learned this lesson my freshman year when I took my very first chemistry test and got a C on it, but I found myself learning this lesson again this very last semester. Because sometimes it does feel like grades are what you're worth. And this semester when I was working so much more than normal and taking an above average schedule of classes, I felt like a failure every day going to classes, especially when I thought my teachers would think of me as the student who just didn't care instead of the girl who was working extremely hard in her job to help provide for her family, in her church calling, and even in that very class. It was difficult to go to class everyday and not feel like I was getting better, that I couldn't understand, simply because I didn't have enough time to do my best. But drowning in one aspect of my life didn't mean I was a failure, because no matter what I was still trying.

2. Don't cry so much.

There are so many times I remember crying, stressed about tests, grades, classes, life plans, finances, jobs, roommates, boys, family, hormones, stress, anxieties, dating. You name it, I probably cried about it. But I can't think of one time when any of those things didn't work out. So much emotional energy was wasted when I think about it, and I missed out on a lot of productive time by crying about stressful things that came my way instead of conquering them.

3. Plans change, people do too.

The coolest part of college is that you get to make your life exactly how you want it, whenever you want. There's no one telling you that you can't change except yourself. I wish I had explored more options early on in my life, and listened less to what people thought was a "good major" or "good guy" or a "good job" because everyone is unique, and everyones plan is different. When I started college, I was a nursing major. But for my situation, that just wasn't the best choice. The applications started way earlier in the program then I was ready for, you needed to have a car which I didn't have, you could hardly have a job because of the schedule which I needed to have, and so many other things that made it the worst choice for me. Nursing is great, but it didn't fit my personality and more importantly it didn't fit into the life I was destined to live. I was looking at life from a very small perspective, when in the grande scheme of things, I know I was meant to be a doctor. I wish I had researched and explored more, instead of listening to what everyone else thought was the best option. I was preoccupied with always having a plan instead of being comfortable enough to admit maybe I didn't.

And the best part is, for every stage of your life, you can find friends who fit into it. The friends I had my first semester of college are different than the ones I had as a sophomore writing a missionary, who were different from the ones I had when I was dating my husband, and those are even different than the ones I have now that I'm married. There are so many people on this campus, and somehow I was always placed next to people who are exactly what I needed at that time in my life. It's not like high school or a small town where everyone has been together since kindergarten, you get to grow and develop around people who are perfect for you.

4. Don't feel pressure to date.

There are so many dates I went on because I felt like I had to or was supposed to. Luckily I didn't waste too much time with it, but there were boys I dated simply because I knew thats what I was supposed to do, get married. The dates that I wanted to go on, were always the best ones and the others were just horror stories. Listen to yourself and no one else. The quest for marriage and family isn't a race, and there isn't one specific game plan that is going to work. All you can do is work on being your best self and being in tune with your Heavenly Father. If you're spiritually in tune, when there is someone you should spend more time with and you're doing your part, you'll know (cough cough, like with my husband).

5. Learn how to learn.

This is probably my biggest regret of my college experience. I wish I had spent more time trying to understand how I learned best and working in a way that was most effective for me. I could have had much better grades early on, and I would have felt more successful. Most teachers uses powerpoints and lectures, but I had a hard time learning the right things for the tests and understanding why I was learning what I was. The field of biology compounds throughout the major, and there are things I should have learned as a freshman that I still don't understand as a senior, which I think most of my classmates would have said as well. For me, learning is very organization based and comprehensive. I learn by looking at a big picture and understanding where a concept fits in relation to everything else being covered. I was I could just rattle of facts like some of my classmates but I'm not like that. I think I could have saved myself a lot of stress if I had understood that about myself sooner.

6. Dream BIGGER.

When I think of the littler freshman in Heritage Halls, my dreams for this experience were so big, but my life I'm living now is even bigger than I imagined. Don't limit yourself. Back then my dream was to get a job to take care of my family, get married, move back where I came from, and do the same things I had been doing before. Now, my life is even bigger. It's not just about what I will do for my family; it is about what I can do for the world. My impact on those around me, it is limitless. It is bigger than my family or my home or even my community. By becoming a doctor, I'll be able to have the skills to help my patients, those in my ward, those in my family, and those 285 million people worldwide with impaired vision.

I look at the picture of the girl above and wonder if I even know her. I have changed and learned and grown so much since then. My eyes were wide and my hands were open, ready to take everything I could from my college experience. My dreams were big and this campus was mine. But now, four years later,  my dreams are even bigger and my life is even larger than I could have imagined back then. And from where I stand now, the world is my campus.

Family Pictures

Over Christmas break we took family pictures with my family in Vancouver. It was kind of hard because everything was wet and rainy at the time as it always is during the winter in Washington, but we got some good shots. We did have to bribe Delaney with skittles though. 

Valentine's Day

For Valentine's day this year we made plans all the way back in the first week of January to drive down to St. George for the weekend and go camping in Snow Canyon. By the time it finally came around, we were SO READY to get out of town. 

On Friday when I was at work Bryce called me to tell me that he needed me to get something out of the trunk of the car so it wouldn't melt...turns out it was a 2lb bag of my favorite chocolate that he had forgotten in the trunk! I was smitten. 

After that I took a midterm and the next morning we woke up and packed. Which actually sounds easier than it was. Because I don't know how to camp. Especially in Utah as opposed to Washington. I tried to back so many winter clothes and so many times Bryce stopped me to ask why the heck was I packing rubber bands, or clorox wipes, or shampoo when we were going for one night. 

Let's be honest, I was kind of a barbie but I've changed my ways. I am not a girl who camps! It was probably the funnest trip of my life. 

We got down there and went straight to the DI. Because we love wandering around DI. We found this really cool book from the 1960s of all the memorable images in TIME magazine from the last 30 years. And we just sat at a table and looked through the whole thing. Then we bought Bryce a golf shirt because that's something he's starting to pick up golfing. 

Then we went to a nursery in town because Bryce had promised to buy me a house plant for Valentines day! We picked out the perfect little succulent garden and took him home to stay with us. I say him, because soon after Bryce named him Bobby and now every time I come home I find Bobby in a different part of the house because Bryce is sure to make sure he is getting adequate sunlight. Very important. 

 Our campsite was perfect. We had bought a rack of ribs at Costco and made rolls and veggies over the fire before sitting by the fire and watching the stars. I think we went to bed at 8 but it felt so good! Sharing a tent with your husband is so fun, we just sat in our sleeping bags and giggled, talked about things that didn't involve school or work or anything remotely stressful, and it was so good).

 For breakfast we made eggs and bacon and hashbrowns, at muffins and oranges and hot chocolate. 

 I was in charge of picking out the hiking trails. We picked one called three ponds where it was supposed to go into the riverbed of a slot canyon and end up looking a this huge arch (supposedly). So we get to the end of the hike and it's really cool canyon running parallel to the canyon we had been camping in. The group in front of us was traveling south through the canyon, and they looked like the knew where they were going so we followed them.

 Well it turns out there wasn't actually a trail. But we climbed through the canyon for hours and hours. It was so fun to be totally alone and just talk as we walked through the canyon and tried to figure out where we were going or how to get out. Eventually though, I did start to get a little worried. We had been hiking for more than 3 hours on a hike that was supposed to take only about an hour. We also were starting to run out of food and water...

There were all sorts of cool red rocks along the way, and since we weren't following an actual trail, we had to scale a lot of walls like this and had a lot of trial and error trying to find the right way to go. 

Eventually we found a group of girls and asked them where this canyon led to, and luckily it did have a way out! This picture is from when the canyon finally opened up and we found our way out! It looks like it's not very far, but from this point we still had to hike about four miles. It took us back to the entry to the park and we hiked through sand dunes to get back. We were so hungry afterwards that we went to Chuckarama! I don't think I have ever craved Chuckarama in my life but we ate until we felt so so sick.

It was honestly one of the best trips of my life. It was just so good to get out of the stress of the day and spend time outside and be able to just talk about anything all day. Camping was perfect for us, I'm so excited to go again (bet you never saw that coming out of my mouth before huh?).

Afterwards, our feet were so so tired. In total we hiked and climbed about 9 miles when we had really only planned on 3. Our Chacos were perfect for the hike though, we didn't even get blisters really and didn't have any pain at all. They are my favorite shoes and I'm excited to move to Arizona where I can wear them almost every day!

8 Month Updates

Things have been pretty crazy down here. We went into our 7th month of marriage with a lot on our to-do list and a lot of changes. I started a new job working at Timpanogos Regional Hospital in the Same Day Surgery Department. I organize all of the patient records and charts and then register them when they come through. It was a really steep learning curve to start off, and I was really stressed trying to do it right when I was so used to being so good at my old job. 

Bryce is still working at the hospital in the Emergency Department. They have been training scribes in Ogden this month so he was pulling 12 hour shifts everyday of every weekend. Together were working over 60 hours a week, and we're both still full time students, so we we've been going full speed for a few weeks now. Also we have been sharing a car and driving back and forth from work in Orem. 

To start off there were a lot of growing pains. We are in an organic chemistry class from 6-9pm at night twice a week. I do have to say that we have the most fun as lab partners, I've never enjoyed labs so much! And I hate labs! We do lots of things like make banana oil and isolate compounds from cinnamon. Writing it all down makes us sound fancier and smarter than we are, lets be honest. 

While we have been having some crazy weeks lately, I am grateful for the time we have together practicing for Midwestern in a few months. The first week with our crazy schedule, we left the house at 7:30 in the morning and didn't get home until 10:30 at night. We walked home together and both just felt like crying. But by the second week we didn't feel that way until Thursday! So it's been improving! 

The biggest thing I've learned the last few weeks is just to let go. The first week I was getting cramps in my jaw and my back from clenching them all day at work! I've had to accept that our house is going to be messy sometimes and dinner might not always be made. 

This is our laundry lately.

 And this is our kitchen, with literally every dish we own dirty (which is why all our cabinets are empty)

 To be honest we are both just so so tired of school.

 But we have still been managing to have some fun. The best moments of the day are when we're together again, having pillow talk and giggling about everything that happened during the day.

Whenever we do get a spare minute we spend our time going to the dollar theatre or splitting dinner before class. Bryce has been absolutely amazing. During the weeks I'm usually working and when I get home Bryce has dinner ready and all our errands ran. He takes the time to dance with me in the kitchen and listen to me even when all I have to say is how tired I am. I don't know how he does it but my workaholic husband (in a good way) can just go forever.

We wake up and remind each other everyday that everything we are doing now is an investment for our future, which makes it easier. I just think about our future little family and the kind of woman I'm going to be for working like this now instead of later.

 In other inconsequential news, I chopped my hair off about a month ago. It was something I had been thinking about for months, and let's be honest, once Taylor chopped her hair it was even more reason. I don't really love it but I guess it is nice to have a change. Still counting the days until it grows back. 

Before.

 After.

 Other things we've been up to: cleaning our house every once in a while, we made an epic trip down to St. George for Valentines day (more on that later), and planning our move to Arizona. We went to a Chinese New Year party last week and ate so many potstickers I swear I was sick for days. 

Anyways, I have a lot more blogging to catch up on. But there is our current status. Marriage just gets better with every day. I truly got the best one!

Today (and Yesterday's) Happy

How "So Luke and Loralai...." is a common phrase coming out of Bryce's mouth. 

Homemade cookies made by Bryce when I feel sick.

Coming home to my husband working out to Taylor Swift and sweeping our kitchen floor while I sit on the couch sick.

Cold gingerale waiting for me in our fridge when I got home because Bryce put it there and I feel sick.

Also, that this week is finally over. 

And no, I'm not pregnant, just sick.