This picture is from my very first day at BYU. Coming up on my last 48 hours before I am done with college, I'd like to think there are some important things I've learned. Regardless of biology or my classes, there were some good life lessons as well. I'm a little bit less of a kid and a little bit more of a grown-up, or so they tell me. And while it is a little bit weird, I am more than happy to be done with my undergraduate degree. The lessons I've learned here will follow me through the rest of my life, and surprisingly most of those lessons were never covered on a class syllabus. So, here you go.
1. Grades do not equal worth.
I thought I had learned this lesson my freshman year when I took my very first chemistry test and got a C on it, but I found myself learning this lesson again this very last semester. Because sometimes it does feel like grades are what you're worth. And this semester when I was working so much more than normal and taking an above average schedule of classes, I felt like a failure every day going to classes, especially when I thought my teachers would think of me as the student who just didn't care instead of the girl who was working extremely hard in her job to help provide for her family, in her church calling, and even in that very class. It was difficult to go to class everyday and not feel like I was getting better, that I couldn't understand, simply because I didn't have enough time to do my best. But drowning in one aspect of my life didn't mean I was a failure, because no matter what I was still trying.
2. Don't cry so much.
There are so many times I remember crying, stressed about tests, grades, classes, life plans, finances, jobs, roommates, boys, family, hormones, stress, anxieties, dating. You name it, I probably cried about it. But I can't think of one time when any of those things didn't work out. So much emotional energy was wasted when I think about it, and I missed out on a lot of productive time by crying about stressful things that came my way instead of conquering them.
3. Plans change, people do too.
The coolest part of college is that you get to make your life exactly how you want it, whenever you want. There's no one telling you that you can't change except yourself. I wish I had explored more options early on in my life, and listened less to what people thought was a "good major" or "good guy" or a "good job" because everyone is unique, and everyones plan is different. When I started college, I was a nursing major. But for my situation, that just wasn't the best choice. The applications started way earlier in the program then I was ready for, you needed to have a car which I didn't have, you could hardly have a job because of the schedule which I needed to have, and so many other things that made it the worst choice for me. Nursing is great, but it didn't fit my personality and more importantly it didn't fit into the life I was destined to live. I was looking at life from a very small perspective, when in the grande scheme of things, I know I was meant to be a doctor. I wish I had researched and explored more, instead of listening to what everyone else thought was the best option. I was preoccupied with always having a plan instead of being comfortable enough to admit maybe I didn't.
And the best part is, for every stage of your life, you can find friends who fit into it. The friends I had my first semester of college are different than the ones I had as a sophomore writing a missionary, who were different from the ones I had when I was dating my husband, and those are even different than the ones I have now that I'm married. There are so many people on this campus, and somehow I was always placed next to people who are exactly what I needed at that time in my life. It's not like high school or a small town where everyone has been together since kindergarten, you get to grow and develop around people who are perfect for you.
4. Don't feel pressure to date.
There are so many dates I went on because I felt like I had to or was supposed to. Luckily I didn't waste too much time with it, but there were boys I dated simply because I knew thats what I was supposed to do, get married. The dates that I wanted to go on, were always the best ones and the others were just horror stories. Listen to yourself and no one else. The quest for marriage and family isn't a race, and there isn't one specific game plan that is going to work. All you can do is work on being your best self and being in tune with your Heavenly Father. If you're spiritually in tune, when there is someone you should spend more time with and you're doing your part, you'll know (cough cough, like with my husband).
5. Learn how to learn.
This is probably my biggest regret of my college experience. I wish I had spent more time trying to understand how I learned best and working in a way that was most effective for me. I could have had much better grades early on, and I would have felt more successful. Most teachers uses powerpoints and lectures, but I had a hard time learning the right things for the tests and understanding why I was learning what I was. The field of biology compounds throughout the major, and there are things I should have learned as a freshman that I still don't understand as a senior, which I think most of my classmates would have said as well. For me, learning is very organization based and comprehensive. I learn by looking at a big picture and understanding where a concept fits in relation to everything else being covered. I was I could just rattle of facts like some of my classmates but I'm not like that. I think I could have saved myself a lot of stress if I had understood that about myself sooner.
6. Dream BIGGER.
When I think of the littler freshman in Heritage Halls, my dreams for this experience were so big, but my life I'm living now is even bigger than I imagined. Don't limit yourself. Back then my dream was to get a job to take care of my family, get married, move back where I came from, and do the same things I had been doing before. Now, my life is even bigger. It's not just about what I will do for my family; it is about what I can do for the world. My impact on those around me, it is limitless. It is bigger than my family or my home or even my community. By becoming a doctor, I'll be able to have the skills to help my patients, those in my ward, those in my family, and those 285 million people worldwide with impaired vision.
I look at the picture of the girl above and wonder if I even know her. I have changed and learned and grown so much since then. My eyes were wide and my hands were open, ready to take everything I could from my college experience. My dreams were big and this campus was mine. But now, four years later, my dreams are even bigger and my life is even larger than I could have imagined back then. And from where I stand now, the world is my campus.
