Currently loving

She had looked for his coming as warriors come, 

With the clash of arms and the bugle's call; 

But he came instead with a stealthy tread, 

Which she did not hear at all.

She had thought how his armor would blaze in the sun, 

As he rode like a prince to claim his bride; 

In the sweet dim light of the falling night 

She found him at her side.

She had dreamed how the gaze of his strange, bold eye 

Would wake her heart to a sudden glow: 

She found in his face the familiar grace 

Of a friend she used to know.

She had dreamed how his coming would stir her soul, 

As the ocean is stirred by the wild storm's strife: 

He brought her the balm of a heavenly calm, 

And a peace which crowned her life.

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1917 

Also loving that we were up until the wee hours of the night last night discussing.....chemistry. That's true love right there. 

Gratitude

Reason's why I seriously feel like Heavenly Father's favorite child as of lately:

The friends, family, aunts, uncles, and cousins who worked so hard to make our wedding day perfect. I was washing the dishes last night, and I almost cried just thinking about it. I had never felt so loved in my life than I did on that day. (We're still writing thank you notes, but don't worry, they're coming!)

My husband who goes out of his way to make sure I'm able to work out every day by offering to clean, cook, or organize, who would rather clean a messy house than let me miss my run for the day. (It really is the best to leave my messy house knowing he'll be so happy I took care of myself instead of stayed home to clean)

A warm house, hot water, fresh foods, a comfy bed, a washer and dryer, healthy bodies.

Brussels sprouts (my only regret in life is I didn't find them sooner).

The opportunity to practice self control, because let's be honest I'm addicted to Facebook. It's probably my worst habit but I've been getting better. Kinda. I'm still working on it, any recommendations would help. I don't know how it's even possible to get rid of it because everything is connected to Facebook!

My microbiome; they do so much for you and they never get recognized for all their hard work. Biology really is the coolest thing ever. Somehow I ended up with the perfect major for me without even trying. 

The list involving things my husband does is just too long so I won't bore you but some of the most notable are wearing a suit and tie that matches my outfit to church because he knows it makes me happy, mid afternoon cuddles, late-night pillow talk, and offering to watch Gilmore girls "if you REALLY want to". And moving our furniture around multiple times just for it to end up back where it was originally. Or following me around the Target Christmas section for an hour.  

And the list goes on and on. I feel so so blessed and happy, so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father. 

Dr. & Dr. Kruman

It is official! We have BOTH been accepted to Midwestern University of Health Sciences and will be moving to Glendale, AZ this summer! We are both so excited and relieved! Knowing we were both able to get in at the same school is such a stress relief . Having worked in the Pre-Med office for the last two years, whenever married couples came in saying they were both applying, I thought they were crazy. I never knew I was going to be one of them!

We can't wait to keep creating a life we love together in Arizona!

 Bryce will be attending the Arizona School of Podiatric Medicine, where he will complete 4 years of school and then a surgical residency to become a foot and ankle surgeon with a Doctor of Podiatric Medicine degree (DPM). It will basically be medical school, all of his classes will be with the medical students as will his residency, but luckily he will become a surgeon a lot faster than most medical students (He will be done with school in 7 years)!

I will be attending the Arizona College of Optometry where I will be completing 4 years of school as well to earn my Optometric Doctor degree (OD). I'm still undecided if I will end up doing a residency, but I have a long time to figure that out. I would love to do something with vision rehabilitation therapy. All of my classes will be integrated with the dental students for the first two years and then the last two years will be in clinic. 

I get asked a lot if I'm going to school to get the degree or if I'm planning on working. Let's just think about that question for a moment and realize it is absolutely absurd; why would anyone put themselves through pursuing a medical education without planning on actually using it? Part of me wants to go around asking people that same question to see how they respond. But instead I will now step off my soap box and save that discussion for another time...

We are so so excited about Midwestern University! When we sought out to apply for schools, knowing we both wanted to become doctors, it quickly became a little bit overwhelming to look at logistically. The cost alone was a little scary. But then the thought of both of us having to be accepted in the same place made it even a little more tricky; there are only 9 Podiatry schools and 22 Optometry schools, which narrowed our options to THREE cities which would actually be reasonable (i.e. were within 45 minutes of each other, both schools were competitive, and costs were low). 

There were times when we would lay in bed thinking about the gravity of it all and wonder, "Is this really what we want to do?" "Is there anything else I might want to do more?" but eventually we came to realize, this is the work we feel called to do and so we moved forward with faith it would work out. 

We applied everywhere we could, just in case, but we knew we wanted to end up in either California, Arizona, or Philadelphia. Once we started to hear back from schools, it was a little bit scarier. We each had interviews at all of the schools we wanted, but they usually will accept students within a week of interviewing and then expect $1000 dollar deposit within about a month, so then we had to worry not only about getting in, but also about getting in at the same time!

Eventually, it came to the point where we realized Arizona was the only place that even felt right. Other options might have worked out okay, but none of them had everything we wanted like Midwestern. I interviewed back in September and was accepted two days later. Bryce interviewed exactly a month later, and just two weeks ago we found out he was in too! We didn't even have to interview anywhere else or pay for any other secondary applications, which was a huge blessing. 

When I think back over the last 4 years, all the sleepless nights, tears shed over failed tests hard classes, stresses over scholarships and applications, I'm filled with so much gratitude for everyone that has helped I see all the miracles that have come into my life and all the times where things just worked out when they might have seemed impossible. These tender mercies and mighty miracles show me just how important it is that we go and become a force for good in the world around us. The fact that we even met as the President and Vice President of a club for Pre-Health students alone shows me how much we need to do this. 

Our first picture together, at the opening social for the BYU Allied Health Club.

 We are so grateful to our Heavenly Father for helping us to work things out perfectly for us, better than we could have ever planned it ourselves (which is saying a lot, because everyone know how much we LOVE planning). And of course, all of our friends and family and advisors who were helpful and patient with us throughout the whole process (like when we were up until 3am on family vacation working on applications for 8 hours straight which is what is happening in the photo below

Spending 8 hours writing up your life's work on a laptop can really fry your brain

There are a million other reasons why we're so happy with midwestern but what is comes down to is Midwestern really is the perfect place for us and we are so excited to be spending the next 4 years growing together there.

When we first started working towards this goal last spring, we would get really overwhelmed and stressed sometimes about everything working out, and it was frustrating that we didn't have any couples who had done it that we could talk to. So if you know any couples/individuals trying to do the same thing who need encouragement, send them our way! We would love to help. We haven't gotten very far just yet, but we know this journey is going to turn into the adventure of a life time! 

And here's a collage of bloopers from our front door photoshoot to end the post. Happy Sunday!

Girl Power.

 This might sound a little bit conflicting but I believe more in "girl power" since I've met Bryce than I ever did before. I think theoretically I believed in girl power, and I probably talked about it just as much. But I wasn't necessarily applying my beliefs or living them either.

Before I met Bryce, I was planning my life around a career with a whole long list of backup plans "just in case" I couldn't get my graduate degree. As if someone was going to decide I couldn't get it, or it wasn't worth the money for a stay at home mom to also be a doctor. A year ago, I went on dates and wasn't confident enough in my "girl power" to tell a guy I just wasn't interested without feeling like I needed to supply another explanation. Last September, I didn't think "No." could go without an explanation. A year ago all my feelings about who I was and what I deserved were just good thoughts, but only some of it equated action.

I was thinking like a powerful woman, but I wasn't living like one. I had all these ideas about what I wanted or how I should be treated, and I definitely would have told you about them if you asked, but I wasn't living up to those beliefs.

Enter in Fall semester 2013, which I like to think of as the start of the hugest year of my life. Bryce didn't just tell me how he thought of me, he showed me.

I learned that women's issues really are everyone's issues when Bryce signed up to run a 5K with me to speak out against victims of sexual abuse.

I learned that my ability to say "No" really meant something when Bryce held my hand for the first time and I told him I wasn't sure how I felt about it, so he never did it again (until I initiated of course).

I realized I had the power to act when I initiated our first kiss.

I felt like someone who was worth respecting when he referred to me as "his president" to our friends (I was the president of the club on campus where we met).

I understood I wasn't the only one who thought of us as equals when he said he "loves that we're the same height because it reminds me how equal we are".

I felt empowered when someone told me "you might not get to go to grad school" as if I was hoping to be some special exception, but Bryce said the time and the debt and efforts he made was worth it to him as if I was the rule; "Of course you'll go to medical school!". And he has never questioned me since, asked if that's what I really want, or checked to make sure I've thought and prayed about it. Because he knows of course I have. 

Bryce reminds me everyday what "girl power" really is when he comes home and tells me he loves to brag about his wife getting into optometry school. When he switches the laundry, does the grocery shopping so I can study, and when he jokingly tells me "don't you dare do the dishes, they're mine!". When I'm in the middle of cooking dinner and he tells me to get out the door and go for a run, because he'll finish up and he can tell I need a break. He's taught me to say what I need and not be afraid to ask for it. He's taught me to stop saying "Sorry for asking" and start saying "Thanks for helping me!". I'm not just his little wife, and I like that. 

I guess that makes me a feminist, and while three years ago I would have turned away from the thought, now you can say I'm embracing it. I'm not just thinking the part, I'm acting on it too.

Ultimately I realized that the perfect man wasn't perfect because he brought me flowers every day and did everything I said, but because he saw me as the powerful woman I wanted so desperately to be even when I didn't know how to get there. Bryce pushes me everyday to be the strong woman that I choose to be, to break the mold, and be a better person.   I'm excited for when we have daughters, to teach them together that they can do an be anything they want. To tell them that I met their Dad while I was pursuing my dreams and he was pursing his. For Bryce and I to show them together what it means to work together and be equal. We're not going to just tell them they are pwoerful, we are going to show them. And for them to see their Dad embrace every aspect of their girl power (even if that means rocking out to Taylor Swift in the car and going to dance team competitions like my Dad did for me). 

Thoughts on Marriage: 2 months

The number one question I get: So how's married life? I'm here to give you the run-down 2 months into this new grown-up life of ours. 

It's familiar and second-nature. Sometimes I look over at Bryce and it feels like I've been his wife my whole life. Waking up next to him each morning feels like the most natural thing in the world. I kept waiting for the moment when we would feel married because it is a little weird when they finally tell you that you're married and you're still the exact same people wearing the exact same thing. But eventually it comes and sometimes there are really special moments when I just look at him and really feel like husband and wife, like we've been this way forever. And it is the best to have Bryce to cuddle up to at 3am when I'm having bad dreams. 

It's a little bit stressful. We didn't exactly pick a calm summer to get married. I wish there was a way to send an email to everyone who attended our wedding and say "Sorry, I started classes two days after our wedding and we're both applying to med school right now, but we're working on your thank you notes, I swear!" But between the MCAT, the OAT, physics class, work, Bryce's new job, applications, shadowing, Bermuda, and moving into our new apartment there has been so much to do! We just hit the ground running. I have a feeling we really aren't going to slow down for a long time, but I don't think we would have it any other way!

It's very very organized. I'm talking google calendar invites for grocery shopping and excel spreadsheets. It's really the only way we can get everything done and not forget anything. I think my favorite mode we have together is "game mode". We started planning our meals for the week as soon as we moved in and we went a whole month without having the same dinner twice! We haven't exactly had much down time but staying organized has really helped give us time to play. We try to have all of our studying done by 6 every night, and afterwards I go for a run and Bryce usually studies a little more. But we always always always cook dinner together. It definitely took some time to fine tune everything but we've figured a lot out. Somehow even filling out medical school applications at 2am with him is just so fun. 

It's the best teacher I've had in a long time. People always tell you marriage is hard, but it doesn't really make sense until you're actually married (people always tell you that too). Being married really puts you under a microscope. It makes you feel insecure at first, but eventually you realize that this is the greatest opportunity to learn you will ever encounter. Or at least that's what I've taken from it. Somehow, quite perfectly, everything skill I want to learn and every trait I want to develop, is complimented by Bryce containing those traits and talents. Sometimes its hard to understand each other when stresses are high and life looks scary, but I've found that the more I trust him and recognize that the qualities he is exhibiting reenforce me to act as the person I want to become, life looks a little easier and a little brighter. It's a refiner's fire, but the love between us makes it seem more like a cozy winter night with hot cocoa than a blazing furnace.

It's perfect. Okay, I know marriage isn't always perfect. But there are perfect moments when we perfectly understand each other. I don't think it is that everything is going exactly right at this point in our lives, or that we're way better at being married than most people. I just think that through all the time and experiences we have together, the perfect moments outweigh all of the little stresses and worries that surround them. Sometimes I look at him and I just want to cry when the moment is so perfect and I feel such peace. The most comforting moments of my life have come from being with Bryce.

#B&B4EVER

Currently, Bryce is biking across the country from Arizona to Washington DC. I told him I was okay with him going as long as I would eternally hold the place as the best wife ever and he agreed. We are living our lives through snap-chat and FaceTime and counting the days until we get married (47). 

One really thing happened on Friday: we both were awarded full tuition scholarships for the next school year! Whoop whoop. Except I didn't get to even tell him about it until 10pm because they biked 120 miles that day! And were chased by a pack of wild dogs more than once, all while getting 4 flat tires. If you want to follow their trip, they have a blog: http://bammomentum.blogspot.com/

Some things I have learned while experiencing this whole long distance thing: 

1. I am not as emotional as I thought I was. For some reason when I thought about the bike trip, I just assumed I would cry for 5 weeks straight but really it hasn't been that bad. He texts me every morning before they leave, lets me know whats going on throughout the day and is sure to let me know what time he will be calling as well as if he is going to be late. Pretty perfect if you ask me. Talking to him on the phone every night is always always always the best part of my day. 

2. I never realized how safe I felt around Bryce until he was gone. Since he's been gone, I've been scared passing random men on the street much more than I usually am and I've started locking my bedroom door when I go to bed even though we have a dead-bolted from door. I keep having these fears someone is going to come into our apartment! I never thought of Bryce as my protector much before, but now I want him to come back so I stop being scared at night!

3. Life is manageable but totally not as fun when we're apart. We've been getting things done and working hard the last week, but it is definitely not as fulfilling being apart. It feels so much more empty without someone to share everything with. We spend a lot of time looking at old pictures of us together. Like this picture of Bryce cutting chicken because I don't know how to use knives properly. 

4. My ability to cook real food is out the window. I might have finished a whole box of cereal in one day started eating cereal way to often than is healthy for me. 

For the most part, this long distance thing isn't really that bad but maybe I'm speaking too soon. There might be a pathetic hour or so every couple days  where I just want to sit around in my wedding dress and wish he was here (that might of actually happened). 

As far as the wedding planning is going, it's practically done in some ways and hardly done in others. At this point I know what Bryce is wearing and I have what I'm wearing, and other than that I just want to get married. Here are some colors we're using for the wedding in case you've been wondering. 

 Think berry colors. Red, magenta, raspberry, navy. Basically all shades of your cool color tones. 

I cannot wait to get married to Bryce in the Portland temple! Whenever I think of even just being with him inside the temple I have to catch my breath and try not to cry! 

So engaged.

The blog is back and better than ever. Bryce and I are getting married in 61 days, 2 months from tomorrow. And I cannot wait! Right now we're in the midst of finals week, meaning we had frozen pizza for Easter dinner and we went on a date last night to the library. More on that soon, but for now here are a bunch of engagement pictures.